This is Part #3 in a multi-part series of blogs, all about my life experiences trying to find love, or settlement, in all manner of ways...
A good friend once described me as ‘a seeker’… someone that was always looking for something more. I was always unsettled, always knowing that there was something more - but never quite sure where to find it.
In this blog series I share the various 'life offerings' I explored - looking for love.
A picture of me circa 2009 during my spirituality days.
#3 - SPIRITUALITY
Running concurrently with what I shall now call ‘The Glamour Era’ was a quest to connect with myself or discover what this ‘missing thing’ was.
Enter the New-Age, Spirituality ‘Journey’.
I’m talking self-help books, Counsellors, Naturopath's, Hynotherapist's, Kinesiologist's, workshops, workshops, workshops, life coaching, chinese medicine, crystal healing, reiki, The Power of Now, the Law of Attraction, Louise Hay, Deepak Chopra, Meditation, Qigong, health retreats, Neuro Linguistic Programming, bloody Oprah!… you name it, I tried it.
No matter how much I applied these modalities/ways of life - not one of them supported me to truly change anything in my life or shift that feeling that something was missing. They offered relief – definitely. Plenty of relief… but it was momentary and there was no true healing and I was definitely not connected with or supported to understand the depths of the being that I am (we are).
During this time I used to joke about my team of specialists, and prided myself on the fact that I had running coaches, a nutritionist, a naturopath, a massage therapist, an Osteopath, a Chinese medicine practitioner, a hypnotherapist, a kinesiologist, a Counsellor AND I practiced Qigong, meditated and attended retreats ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
Some of these were essential to keep my body physically up to the demands and challenges I was setting for it. Some of these were to keep my stress and anxiety levels at bay.
All of these were purely for relief of the eternal unsettlement that I did not want to feel.
From my experience, I can very confidently say that the world of spirituality claims to offer so much. There’s a hype, a glamour and a whole lot of illusion. There’s a bit of rah rah, and a ‘be your best self’ type mentality that in truth, only takes you further from the everything that you already are.
It’s really a great set up. Because you think you’re in control and doing amazing things… but in essence, you’re just digging yourself deeper and further away from yourself.
And for me… that feeling that something was missing – the eternal unsettlement - was still there.